cuatro de julio

la boca, buenos aires

this will be my fifth consecutive fourth of july spent in a country other than the united states. i still cherish all those memories of barbecues, parades, fireworks, and idle hours spent poolside in the northern hemisphere, but it feels as though longing for them goes beyond a wish to return to childhood. not only has time elapsed, so has the context.

what has been so interesting for me to be beyond american (or at least north american) soil for these past five summers is that it has happened during such tumultuous times. if there has been one constant among the five countries during this time, it has been the consistency with which locals and fellow travelers have disparaged the actions of my government. in the first of these experiences, in namibia in 2004, i quickly learned to adopt the 'german greeting', which is to shrug your shoulders slightly and offer an apology upon introduction. most of the africans that i met would not judge, but people from the rest of the continents usually wanted to make sure they were in the presence of a contritious american. i never felt like i was being held accountable for the iraq war myself; i actually believe that i've been offered a lot of sympathy in all these places. still, i have felt less than inclined to advertise myself as an american in the developing world when my country has acted in ways that i wholly condemn.

fourth of july celebrations have been muted, to say the least. i feel cheated to have to muffle the celebration of my holiday because the symbols of my countries greatness have been coopted by a gang of thieves. the work of so many great patriots has been used to sell a war that has killed and displaced so many. it is hard to express my patriotism in places like kenya, malawi, and argentina when my flag is associated more with corporate imperialism than liberty, suffrage, emancipation, civil rights, and freedom of speech, perhaps more in my mind than in theirs. i am america's guilty conscious.

yet it is the progression of the past five years that has given me hope. if 2004 was denial, then 2005 was rage and the past two have certainly been depression. now, all of a sudden, there is an interest in american politics that is not vituperative. it is amazing to read articles, watch news reports, or speak with locals about the surging candidacy of barack obama. if my limited sample size of the porteños i have met can be predictive, it appears as though the world may be able to forgive us if we elect a black man president less than two centuries after emancipation. it is nice to be able to show a little more pride.

but i am not america. i am not its political system, its public consciousness, its economy, or its weather. i just happen to be an american who likes to wander. so today, on the fourth, i will celebrate the most appropriate way that i know how: i'm going bowling. i'm going to have a beer, eat some grilled meat, and speak a little spanish (like it or not, your great-grandchildren may need to speak it). i'm going to celebrate with my fellow expatriots by laughing (we have a great sense of humor) and complaining (our constitution lets us) and doing whatever the hell i feel like (cause i'm an american, damnit!). i will celebrate the greatness of our past and the brightness of our future, and will try for one day not to think of the poo-stain on the mattress that is our current executive branch.

buenas noches y buena suerte