fever

brooklyn, ny

four years ago, i led a group of eight u.s. american college students to malawi for a summer volunteer project. as it turned out, our host ngo was little more than a way to siphon western donor money into already well-insulated pockets. many of my youthful volunteers, some clearly afraid of black people and others only comforted in the presence of english lads, seemed to project their frustration and insecurity on yours truly. one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences left much to be forgotten.

but each evening, from 4 until bedtime, there was a larger event that served as panacea for my volunteer's impertinence. rather than have to focus on the young'uns that blamed me for their misfortunes, or the ones who seized the day by reading in bed and doing laundry [it must be noted that not all of them were that bad], i could lose myself in the world cup. taking place in germany, felicitously aligned with the time zone in east africa, i could steal away to watch the matches on a 13" television next door or occasionally a bar in town.

there was something special about watching african teams compete from the continent, even if malawi was (and may never be) a participant. my fellow viewers would take sides in all the matches, but would still applaud every goal, no matter the team. it was as pure a celebration of the game as could be imagined. instead of winners and losers as we see it over here, it was more about the way the game was played.

and though i may not be there, i think that something of my previous experience is stirred in me as i watch these games. it may just be that so many rich travel experiences prevent me from watching the matches from a competitive perspective. yes, i want the u.s. side to go and to go far and i noticed yesterday that i have an affinity for the spanish side (i don't care about the loss, they play the game beautifully and remain as great a threat to win it as anybody). aside from a few exceptions, i just want to see the beautiful game played beautifully. not from a perspective of exuberant indifference, but one where i have so much love and respect for all the peoples of the world and the cultures we have been fragmented into.

there would be nothing greater than to see the hosts go far, but i just couldn't fully pull for them to best uruguay when i remembered all the friendly, mate-carrying people i met and saw a couple years back. i can't root against the north koreans, since it would be unfair to cheer against a side because their political leaders were myopic and delusioned (i grew up under reagan and a pair of bushes, after all: i can no more cheer against north korea than i can myself). the world hates france, but i still support les bleus even if zidane isn't around to be the man among boys this time around. i cannot cheer against an african side because of all the love that continent has given me, but i still have to remember the rich experiences i have had in japan and slovakia and germany and new zealand and australia. as for all countries i have yet to travel to, i don't want to enter algeria or paraguay with some sort of negative affect or deficient funds in the karma account.

i guess what i'm saying is that, for as lame as it sounds, i just want to watch great football and hope that all the players, fans, and locals have a great experience over the next month. except italy. i hate italy.