my friend

hoi an, vietnam

i like to be alone. i don't really get in too many of those don't-talk-to-daddy-when-he's-upset types of quiet, but i definitely have my times and places to be away from other people. it's one of those "it's not you, it's me" type of situations. conversation and being around others is both what i live for and enervating. for me, there's no better way to bookend a fantastic evening with friends than a good book in a coffee shop and a long walk with my earbuds through the cold streets of new york city. this craving for anonymity is partially why i moved to the big apple and it's probably why i still live in a neighborhood quite distant from most of my friends. i'm sure it's got something to do with the whole travel thing i seem to enjoy.

a reasonable conclusion from all of it is that i'm not that great of a friend. i wouldn't know, i've only seen it from my side. i really do care about people, ones i've known for decades or just met or somewhere in between. i spend each day wondering about how everyone is doing and hoping that so-and-so gets that promotion and that so-and-so can finally meet someone that will make them happy. but i don't do the small things. i'm not the one that picks up the phone. i don't send the postcards. since i'm so frequently saving to go across the globe, i don't pick up the tab and i don't make the nice gesture of visiting. [i'm kind of an asshole, aren't i?]

for the next two weeks, i'll be with one of the guys who has tended to pick up the slack in our own relationship. i told him i would be traveling, he cashed in some vacation days and bought a ticket to join me. he makes for an excellent travel partner. we can throw back beers and swap stories all night as well as stare spacely and silently out train windows. we both intuitively pull out the camera and respect the other's artistic eye. we both appreciate the local culture and recognize a good storyteller when we find one.

those are some nice tangibles. perhaps more importantly, dude needed to get out of dodge. let's just say that one young lady said 'i do' and then went and did, and so now their 'they are' has become a 'he is.' sometimes, people turn out to be exactly who they are. sprinkle in a few kidney stones, top it off with lyme disease, and i can know at least one person who will not be purchasing the 2011 yearbook.

shame for anyone, a true shame for this guy. i am well aware of our gender's reputation and can vouch for its authenticity. it doesn't take long to come across the name of a good friend who i would severely bludgeon were they to put the moves on a close female friend. but not him. this is the guy you go drinking with, go to war with, the guy you want to work for, and the guy who you would be delighted to have as a brother-in-law. he's a rare one who defies the mutual exclusivity on my character list.

and i could say that i have a job to do these next two weeks. i want to show him some beaches, take him on a moto ride, stuff him full of spring rolls and make him forget the hard times. help him remember who he is and all that he deserves. i may also walk over to a table or two of cute aussie girls and grossly exaggerate his high school playing days, but it'd probably be more fun to get ruthless at pool. he's out shopping now, maybe getting measured for a new suit (hoi an has fantastic clothing.) i should probably go find him; it's not as much fun being alone.