splurge

hanoi, vietnam

traveling is hard work. the sunsets are fantastic and the beaches may be warm, but all those postcard moments and mango-flavored cocktails are earned, not given. we carry forty pound bags through vehicle- and pedestrian-saturated cities in search of dingy rooms that will save us $2. we sit on plastic stools in bus aisles for eight hours because the company that pawned us off on the other did not actually buy us a seat. we arrive after double-digit journeys to find a town with a welcome mat, but not an open restaurant.

i'm not complaining. truth be told, i have a sadistic penchant for discomfort that should probably have me committed. i know it's not the ideal way to treat one's mind or body. that's why, every now and again, the opportunity for self-pampering must be seized. that's why i shilled out $80 for a trip to halong bay.

instinct suggested that i should have hijacked a moto and kidnapped a water buffalo to take me to the water's edge where i could warm myself in mud before howling at the moon. instead, i joined thirteen others on the halong party boat for twenty-four hours of midrange luxury. i would have my own queen-size bed in my very own room (the bed came with sheets!) there was a hot water shower. the combination of buffet-sized meals and a comfortable toilet had me twiddling my fingers in giddy anticipation of the most soothing dumps i've taken in weeks. lounge chairs, leather sofa, foosball table. with the wood-stained so tactfully, it appeared so much nicer than the fraternity house i just described.

the afternoon and evening were lovely. the other thirteen were friendly-enough folk who seemed to also be spending a day above their pay-grade. we kayaked and took photos from the summit of one of the two-thousand limestone islands. we sat at tables and drank our complimentary wine and spoke in words and phrases to relate information to one another. for dinner, we had braised pork ribs and tender calamari. by evening, we let our hair down while the dude from oregon absolutely killed it at karaoke.

the next morning was different and for no real reason. there was the expedition to the cave that was impressive enough. we learned how to make spring rolls and ate our creation. inside, we were all a bit drowsy and sitting with genial expressions of the well-what-should-we-all-talk-about-next variety. outside our windows, the bay and its islands were quietly passing in a soupy fog and i was just tired of being entertained. i felt like going above deck to stare mindlessly at the surreal setting. i felt like going below deck to play cards with the kitchen staff that never surfaced. i wanted our tour guide to stop smiling so obsequiously. i wanted to be back in vietnam.

it was still worth both time and treasure and i would recommend the trip. i would even say it's a better experience to be out there in mystic winter than the bright beach days of local summer. as a bonus, it also gave me that proverbial "teaching moment," reinforcing where i belong. upon reaching hanoi, i felt an ethereal calm after stepping out of the minivan and firmly telling a few shoe-polishers to leave me alone. i was home at last.