an american in vietnam

saigon, vietnam

before this country became the backdrop for several academy award-nominated and -winning films, there was a war here. it was the first to fall firmly in the age of television and its carnage helped showcase the absurdity of the cold war, if not war in general, even if most could not fully make that connection. while hollywood can be credited for stepping in and doing an excellent job of cinematographic representation (written by someone who was born years after the conflict and is, obviously, without proper reference), the translation is muddled. sure, we saw the bodies. the blood. those forlorn, dirty and sweat-stained faces leaning over rifles and weeping over dead patriots and the loss of innocence. many of the films portray this very well.

still, it's hollywood. i could personally go through the cerebral rolodex and tick off dozens of quotations and repartees from the boot camp sequence in full metal jacket. so could many others. but i rarely reflect on the end sequence featuring those eerie, metallic acoustics and the deep breaths of the marines as they stare at a young vietnamese girl begging for her coup de grace. so too apocalypse now. we can extend this to the mad, darkly humorous ramblings of walter sobchak from the big lebowski. sadly, our reference is also framed by john rambo and chuck norris and the hot shots! canon.

which is all to say that it's entertainment. even if you can look beyond the narrative arc of deer hunter and feel real human empathy for the situations that unfold, need i remind you of the perspective they show? even those select films that focus on the horrors done to the vietnamese people (i.e. casualties of war), it is overwhelmingly concentrated on the ensuing guilt of the americans for what they did. not the victims.

this is all very reasonable. these production companies spent millions on a product targeted to an american audience. if the audience cannot relate, they will not fork over the dough and buy the popcorn. i will stick up for hollywood and say that it is a good thing that our mass entertainment can have some instructional value.

but it's not vietnam. at least, the one that i presently find myself in. i'm not too focused on the 'nam of film or lore as i go through my day. the war piqued my interest in the country and greatly influences my travel route, but my day-to-day focus has been more about negotiating the rental price for motos and finding cheap pho. the major cities all have museums that i will visit and i plan on getting off the beaten track (not literally) near the dmz to see a bit more for myself. still, a large part of my calculus has not changed from cambodia: hold my camera tight, make sure the door locks, have toilet paper handy, and make sure i stay nowhere near those annoying british kids.

i wouldn't be thinking of this, and certainly wouldn't write about it, if i didn't feel that there was something more to this segment of the trip. i'd need several swings of the rope to find someone on the family tree who served here, so it's not like i have to pay my respects or atone for anything resembling sins-of-the-father. there is that nebulous american guilt thing, but then again i traveled all through the bush years and this is more like welcoming back an old snoring, bed-shitting travel companion. what does that mean? i didn't know when i crossed the border and i don't know now. i just decided to let the locals make the first move.

i have been recognized from afar as an american, both times at street food stalls. "are you american?" "yep" and what happened? well, the first man was with his family, enjoying the tet holiday, and told me about his life in albuquerque. ditto the second guy, only he lived in st. louis. we connected about life in america and they took an interest in my impressions of their country, just as i've experienced everywhere from cuzco to kampot. the new mexican even bought me sugarcane juice. others have asked where i'm from, waiters and hotel receptionists and such, and they usually give me a thumbs-up.

i know the time will come. i've heard that the north is different and there will likely be some reaction to my nationality. what can i do? it's really hard to fathom. it would be ideal to think that i could make such an impression as to leave somebody thinking, "his father could have decimated my ancestor's village, but he is so polite and even knows the word for four (bon) so we'll give 'em all a pass." i don't think that is quite in the cards.

what i can do is what only one man can do. i'll pay my respects for what was done in the past and try to pay some goodwill forward. i'll take each situation as it comes and let the golden rule be my guide. and when in doubt, i'll go for the cheap laughs on account of my height (cao lam). that seems to be working pretty well so far.